Managing Conflict

Interpersonal conflict in meetings is not necessarily bad. In fact, it can be healthy when handled properly. Therefore, the question is not how to eliminate conflict, but how to capitalize on its constructive aspects. In many instances, interpersonal differences, competition, rivalry, and other forms of conflict contribute to the effectiveness of the meeting. A moderate level of conflict may have these constructive consequences:

• Increased motivation and energy to do a task

• Increased innovative thinking through a greater diversity of viewpoints

• Increased understanding of a position on an issue by forcing the advocate of that position to articulate it and support it with facts

Increased understanding of opposing positions on an issue by being forced to listen and then working to integrate diverse positions to achieve consensus

When everyone is doing his best, conflict is natural. What is best for one won’t necessarily be the best for others. Therefore, conflict management becomes a primary skill for conducting effective meetings.

WHAT CAUSES CONFLICT?

Conflict occurs when the desires of two individuals or groups appear incompatible. 

It often occurs when individuals come to a meeting with preconceived ideas about the outcome of the meeting rather than working together to find a solution that is acceptable to the group. Here are four classic conditions that often lead to conflict:

• Miscommunication: People often don’t listen well. As a result, misunderstandings occur that may lead to conflict.

• Different Perceptions: Two or more people experience a common event but come away with different views of what happened.

• Different Values: Different value systems lead people to define acceptable actions differently.

• Different Preferred Outcomes: Two or more people want different solutions to the same problem.

UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT

How situations are handled will have a dramatic impact on the group and its member’s ability to work together in the future. There are two dynamics to be sensitive to:

• the concern people have for winning a point 

• the concern for maintaining relationships
  
  

How these two dynamics interrelate leads to five different approaches for dealing with conflict: demanding, problem solving, bargaining, giving in, and avoiding.

(1)  Each of the above approaches is appropriate under the right circumstances. Frequently, however, people do not analyze conflict and choose an appropriate approach. The tendency is to use a comfortable strategy in all situations. This often leads to addressing conflict improperly and/or damaging important relationships.

• Demanding: This approach suggests that winning is more important than the relationship. Demanding is aggressiveness that often evokes an aggressive response. While it maximizes the individual’s outcome, it’s usually at the expense of the relationship because, in demanding, there is a winner and a loser. Most people don’t like to lose. When they do, they are often motivated to get even. When conducting meetings, you should work to avoid issues polarizing group members to this extent.

• Problem Solving: This approach shows high concern for both winning and maintaining the relationship. It is characterized by both parties working together actively to find a mutually satisfactory solution to a common problem. It requires joint problem solving, which in turn leads to creative solutions with commitment to carry them out.

• Bargaining: Bargaining is a retreat or backup position when a solution can’t be reached by demanding or problem solving. It remains moderately high on both concerns. It is most effective when both parties are willing to give a little to resolve their differences.

• Giving In: With this response, maintaining the relationship is viewed as more important than winning the point. It is also an appropriate response when new information invalidates a position. In meetings you conduct, you may need to help participants find face-saving ways to give up their positions on issues under discussion.

• Avoiding: Every conflict need not be resolved immediately. Avoiding confrontation can be appropriate when the issue is trivial. It also can be used on a temporary basis to allow people time to cool off, or to gather additional facts.
  

DEALING WITH CONFLICT

There are five general ways for dealing with conflict in a meeting and they are as follows:

• Confrontation: Those involved exchange information about a situation and express their feelings openly. Under these conditions, problem solving becomes a matter of working through differences based upon valid data. Consensus is the objective. Confrontation requires emotional and intellectual energy as well as a high degree of interpersonal skill.

• Compromise: Instead of working through confrontation, another approach to split differences and reach a compromise satisfactory to the various parties. Often a compromise resolution will not meet the needs of the whole group.

• Smoothing: Instead of confronting issues, it is possible to smooth them over in these cases, the approach is, “We are friends and shouldn’t let this problem disrupt our relationship. Let’s allow it to work itself out.” Unfortunately, when problems are smoothed over, they usually are not solved. They often become worse with time.

• Use of Power: Conflict can be handled by using power (of knowledge or position) to force a solution that is satisfactory from one point of view. One way this occurs is when a superior renders a unilateral resolution.

• Coalition: Conflict can also be resolved by factions forming an alliance to force others to accept their position. The disadvantage of this approach is that other parties feel their wishes have not been taken into account and therefore are less motivated to carry out the decisions.
  

Research indicates that Confrontation is the best approach to conflict resolution. Properly done, it preserves the best interests of those involved. People can engage in effective problem solving under conditions of conflict if they are willing to generate valid dada about their differences.


HANDING CONFRONTATION IN MEETINGS

The following ideas should help one in handling confrontations in a positive way:

• Clarify Objectives: Conflict sometimes develops because participants have different understandings of the meeting’s objectives. Clarifying and reaching agreement on objectives is an important first step.

• Strive for Understanding: Often, when involved in argument, people do not listen carefully to the opposition’s presentation/remarks. They are too busy formulating a rebuttal to listen. 

• Focus on the Rational: Emotional involvement is a natural part of confrontation. However, sound decisions cannot be reached when participants are too emotional. Therefore, for the benefit of the outcome, one should keep attention focused on rational consideration-facts, supporting reasons; potential problem if a certain course of actions is followed.

• Generate Alternatives: What alternate solutions integrate the needs of the diverse points of view involved in the confrontation? This is a challenging part of the process. Participants often cannot see how any alternative to their solution exists. This is where group members not at either extreme can become a resource to generate some reasonable alternatives.

• Table the Issue: Tabling can be an effective way to deal with conflict when you feel the group needs time to consider the arguments that have been presented. It works particularly well as a face saving device. People sometimes find themselves in a position of having argued so strongly for a position; they cannot gracefully change even after being convinced of the logic of a different position. Tabling gives a person time to work this out.
  Use Humor: If you are good with humor it can be used to reduce the emotional tenseness of confrontation. It can serve as a release and clear the way for more rational problem-solving.
  

OTHER ITEMS THAT WILL HELP HANDLE CONFLICT

• An acknowledgement of deadlines

• Involving everyone in the process

• Allowing time to think

• Taking a break (i.e., calling time out)

• Referring the item to a committee

• Allowing for expression of strong feelings
  
  

CONFLICT SHOULD NOT BE AVOIDED IN MEETINGS. IT IS A NATUAL OUTCOME OF STRONGLY HELD POINTS OF VIEW. HOWEVER, IT MUST BE CONTAINED AND FOCUSED TOWARD RESOLUTION.



ALL CONFLICT CAN BE RESOLVED. NOT THAT IT ALWAYS WILL-BUT IT CAN. MOST OFTEN IT IS RESOLVED THROUGH SOME COMMUNICATION.